Phan fic: Two Hearts
by desandnater99
Summary: Our beloved Dan and Phil find that their hearts are meant to be one.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Was This Really Happening?!

It was like I was in heaven. This was actually happening.

"Well I guess we're doing this then." Dan said.

Dan grabbed my face and pulled it closer to his. He looked down at my lips, then deep into my eyes. I could feel his breath on my face as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me. He ran his fingers up my face and into my hair.

He wasn't pulling away!

I grabbed his body and pulled it closer to mine. I pulled him closer and closer to me. So close he had no other way than on my lap. His legs wrapped around my back, and his hands still in my hair.

I thought this was just a dare, I thought Dan wasn't gay. This I began to question.

Suddenly I felt something enter my mouth. He was giving me tongue! Wow, maybe he really was gay.

He shoved his tongue all the way in my mouth. I have never done tongue before, I didn't know how to do this sort of thing. I didn't know what to do but I shoved my tongue in his mouth, as he was doing to me. I guess I was doing ok because he didn't pull away.

I tried doing what he did to me, so I grabbed his head and pushed my tongue all the way in his mouth. He let out a small moan and opened his mouth a bit wider to get air without pulling away. He quickly came back to me and moaned a bit again.

I guess you could say we were sucking face now.

At this point I knew Dan was gay, it was pretty obvious now. We kissed and I could tell this wasn't just because a fan dared us to for our truth or dare video.

At what seemed too soon, it ended. We broke away making that loud kiss noise, leaving a small spit string connecting our lips. After a few short seconds, it broke and fell on his trousers.

He stayed on my lap with his hands still in my hair, and my arms still wrapped around his body. I looked him in the eyes and said, stuttering at first, " I-I love you, Dan."

He laid his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. " I love you too." He said with that adorable smile of his on his face. With him still on my lap, I turn my body to lean up against the sofa, for we were on the floor. He was so cute, all in twined with me on my lap. He adjusted his head, snuggling it to fit comfortably between my neck and shoulder.

His hair was tickling my neck so I take my hand and pet his hair, moving it away from my neck. I keep my hand on his head and lay my head on his.

This was amazing. My heart was beating so hard and so fast, it was like it was jumping out of my chest and slapping us in the face. I was afraid he would hear it, but didn't really care.

I have never told Dan I was gay and he never told me if he was. I wanted to but the fear of rejection filled my mind. I was afraid he would get wierded out and want to move out.

Ever since day one, I knew Dan was someone special. He made me feel good about my self, he made my heart do that flippy over thing. Home is where the heart is, and my heart was with him.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been four years since we met, four impacting years. I never knew that day was the day I would be meeting someone that would mean so much to me.

I was a YouTuber, but didn't have too many subscribers, and he was just another fan. Who knew all those tweets would turn into Skype calls, and all those Skype calls would turn into something even bigger. On the 4th of September 2009, my life changed forever.

It was a bit windy and looked as if it were about to rain. I was starting to feel a bit chilly, but then I saw him. That tiny bit of cold I was feeling suddenly went away when I laid eyes on him. It was like a silhouette of beautiful white glittering light was stitched into his beautiful soul. He was a bit taller than I imagined, which really didn't matter to me, he was perfect just the way he was.

As he walked towards me it felt like the whole world was in slow motion, letting me adjust to this overwhelming experience. Inside, it felt like kids in a bounce house, a wave of butterflies. My heart was racing its way out of my chest, my heart was desperately reaching out for his.

When he finally reached me, the world seemed to speed up. This wonderful man was younger than me, but I didn't care and neither did he. He was so beautiful in person. Those beautiful chocolate eyes, his shiny, straight brown hair, and the voice of an angel.

We were together for a good bit of the day. Walking around town, getting lunch, could this day get any better?

"What are you getting" Dan asked when we arrived at the ice cream Shoppe.

" Ummm… Probably what I always get, a chocolate, peanut butter vanilla milk shake. What are you getting?" I answered.

" That actually sounds really good, I think I wanna try that." Dan said with a smile.

When the lady at the counter asked what we were having I ordered for the both of us. He looked a bit confused as to why I did that but he was smiling.

As we were waiting for our milkshakes he and I chatted about our favorite pokemon. Then finally our milkshakes were ready. As we went to a table he did a funny little dance and quietly sang ' my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.' I laughed, maybe a bit too hard, and sat down across from him. He was so adorable drinking his milkshake. I wanted to tell him that, and that I like him but I wasn't sure if he was gay, or bi, or how he felt about them.

I know this was the first time I have ever seen him in person, but I had that heart feeling that he was someone special.

If it weren't for that blessed day, I don't know what I would be. I wouldn't know the feeling of true love, I wouldn't be, well, me! Dan saved my life from being something different, and everyday I thank him for that.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I Love You Phil

It was late afternoon the next Saturday and still, a whole week later, all I was thinking about was that kiss. It was cold outside, because it was nearing the end of Autumn and neither of us even mentioned it since it happened, it was like it never happened, like it was only a dream. It felt that way even though it defiantly wasn't.

Everyday since it happened, I wondered why Dan never brought it up and why he acted as if it never happened. Every night my thoughts turned to fear when I thought about the reasons why it was like this. What if he was ashamed of it, what if he just wanted to forget it, what if I came on too strong?

I couldn't think about that anymore, I needed something to get my mind off of it, something to chase away my fears.

I went onto the kitchen where Dan sat with his cup of tea and his laptop, browsing Tumblr.

"Do you have any plans for today?" I asked him.

"No, actually, I don't. Why?" Dan answered.

"I don't know, it's Saturday and I'm bored. Wanna do something?"

He immediately said sure and asked what I wanted to do. In my head I was thinking: Snuggle with you, kiss you. But instead I said "Do you want to go to the cinema?"

"Ooh yeah, what's playing?" Dan asked.

"Um, the new Avengers came out last week. We could go see that." I answered.

"Yes! I've been dying to see that, what time is it playing?" Dan said excitedly

"In about an hour. If we leave now we could walk there and get our seats early." I said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great." Dan said putting his shoes on.

We got all our stuff together and headed for the lift to take us to the lobby. When we arrived the doors opened and we stepped out. No one else was there. I wanted to do something to get Dan's attention. I figured the only way to do this was to trip and fall.

I walk next to him but right before we get to the door out, I trip myself and fall. I didn't plan this out too well because I ended up cracking my face against the floor, giving myself a bloody nose.

"AHH OUCH" I scream. Dan turns around and immediately kneels down to me.

"Phil! Oh my gosh what did you do?" He says in a worried tone.

"I tripped and fell!" I said sitting up and cupping my bloody nose. I stayed in a seated position while Dan ran to get tissues from the little table by the lift.

He rushes back over and sat down next to me holding the tissues to my nose.

"Are you ok, Phil?" He asked looking into my eyes as he still held the tissues to my nose.

"Well my nose hurts but I think I'm good. I can hold my own tissues you know." I said

"It's ok, I got it." He said smiling at me.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He added, still looking into my eyes.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." I said. He finally let me hold the tissue as he helped me up and back to the lift.

I had gotten blood all over my hands and some on my shirt. I didn't particularly like the sight of blood and feeling pain at the same time and this made me feel a bit ill. When we got to out flat Dan unlocked the door and lead me to the sofa and sat me down. He rushed into his room and got the tissue box from his night stand and brought it to me. He took the blood soaked tissues from my hand and threw them away in the kitchen. When he got back he sat down next to me and held the tissue box.

"Phil what happened?" He asked concerned.

"I fell and banged my face on the floor." I responded with a silly voice because of the tissues at my nose.

"It's ok, Phil. You'll be fine with me." He said sweetly.

When the gushing finally stopped, I went to my room to change my shirt and then to the bath room to wash my hands. I still felt a bit ill from everything and didn't really want to go out now.

I stumble into the lounge where Dan was waiting for me.

" Phil are you alright? You look ill." He asked

"Dan I don't really want to go out now. The sight of my blood and the pain made me feel a bit ill." I said. I was actually a bit light headed now too. I put my hand to my face as I slowly stumbled to the sofa. Right before I got there, I faint and crash to the floor. Dan tried to catch me but didn't get there soon enough.

" OH MY GOD. PHIL? PHIL?" He shouted, very worried, and began to cry.

I was too light headed and dizzy to talk or move. Dan got on the floor and picked me up and put me on his lap. I moved my eyes to look at him and he was crying. He holds me and hugs me tight with one hand on the back of my head, grasping my hair. He was literally crying, loudly now.

"Phil are you ok?!" He shouts.

I stutter but manage to spit out: "I-I-I'm ok, I think, I'm just a bit clumsy I guess."

"No Phil, You're not clumsy, something's wrong, what is it?" He says looking at my pale face.

"J-j-just a bit light headed it's ok, I'm fine." I said.

"Phil you're not fine, you fainted and your face is really pale. Here sit on the sofa." He said

He helped me get up and walked me the rest of the way to the sofa. He sat down and gestured for me to sit on his lap. I sat down and laid my head on his shoulder and put my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. He was still crying. He turned his head to the side to look at my face. He looks into my eyes and then kisses me. He pulls away and smiles at me.

"I love you, Phil." He says sweetly.

His face was still touching mine so I move my head to kiss him again. I didn't mind his tears on my face, I actually like it because they were Dan's tears for me and it was cute. I put my hand on the side of his face and hold him there, kissing him.

I was feeling a bit less ill but still a bit dizzy. I was hungry and sleepy but had no desire to leave Dan's embrace. Dan and I stayed on the sofa, hugging and giving each other little pecks on the lips, until he herd my stomach growl.

" Are you hungry, love?" He asked smiling.

"A bit." I said

"Well I'll make you something, what do you want?" Dan asked still hugging me tight.

"I don't care really. But can you make hot cocoa too?"

"Oh Phil, I would make you anything you like. But that means you have to get off me so I can make it." Dan said smiling.

"Uhh.. Noo" I Said.

"It's ok, I'll come back." He said chuckling.

Dan scooted me off his lap and went into the kitchen to make us dinner. He quickly made it, and the hot cocoa, and brought it in and set in on the table. As we ate, Dan made silly faces at me making me laugh. He was so adorable and my plan had worked… sort of. I didn't mean to actually hurt my self, but I got his attention. I just wish he was like this more often.

When we were finished Dan took our plates and mugs into the kitchen and put them in the dish washer. When he got back he sat on the sofa and held his arms out for me to return to his lap. I went over to him and started to shiver.

"Are you chilly Phil?" He asked grabbing for the blanket next to him and covering us. He took his arms out and wrapped them around me and the blanket. He bent forward for the TV remote and turned on the baking channel. After about two half-hour episodes I fell asleep on him.

He glances at my face and gives me a little kiss on the forehead and turns off the TV. He picks me up and carries me to my bed room. He puts me on the bed and tucks me in and turns off the light.

"Dan" I say as he goes to leave.

"Yeah Phil?" He says turning back to me.

"Will you sleep with me in my bed tonight?" I asked in a tired voice.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because it really scared me when I fainted, I feel safer with you." I said opening my arms for him.

"Oh alright." He says with a smile and lays down next to me.

"I love you Phil, a lot. Good night my precious angel." He says cuddling me and gives me one last good nigh kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Was This real Life?

It was a quiet evening and Dan and I were in our bedrooms for the night. Something seemed strange and not normal. I was a bit scared and creped out, all alone in my room, so I decided to put on my headphones and watch some YouTube. I knew I was the oldest out of Dan and I, and I shouldn't really be scared for no reason but I couldn't help but feel something wasn't right.

I was starting to get tired So I finished the video I was on and shut down my laptop. As I was walking to put it away I thought I herd something in the living room, but I thought it was all just in my head because I didn't hear anything else. That made me even more scared and it was hard for me to fall asleep, but eventually I did.

It was 2AM and I woke up to a loud thud coming from the living room. I jumped, sitting up in bed, scared and holding my blanket to my face. I was hesitant to get out of bed because I was so frightened. I slowly crept to my bed room door and opened it a bit to peek out with Lion in my hand. I herd another loud bang and something crash on the floor. It sounded like it broke. It was chilly in our flat so I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around Lion and I, and went back to peek out the door.

My heart stopped and my whole body froze in fear. I herd a loud deathly scream coming from Dan's room. I dropped my blanket and Lion and ran to Dan's room.

"DAN!" I screamed as I ran to his room.

"DAN!?" I yelled. To my surprise, Dan wasn't in the room. No one was. The room was completely normal, just no one was in it. No one was in it… where's Dan? I looked all around, Dan wasn't here. I was scared and had no clue what had just happened.

I herd loud banging, a crash and Dan scream, what was going on? At this point I was terrified. I just stood at the entrance to Dan's room and cried. I was so confused. Where was Dan? What if something horrible happened to him? I went into the lounge to find out what the crash and loud thudding was. Someone had broken a vase and moved the furniture. Now I was terrified.

Dan was gone, I was scared and I was confused. Thanksgiving was in a few days and I didn't want to spend it terrified and worried about Dan. I needed him back, who would do such a thing?

It was about 10AM now and I was still absolutely scared and confused out of my mind. But I had to get ready For the radio show. I had to keep it together, if Dan was here, he would still want me to do the radio show. I had a bowl of cereal but couldn't finish it because what had happened. I decided maybe a hot shower would make me calm down a bit, but it just made things worse.

As I turned on the shower, the handle was hard to turn and it made an awful screeching noise. It turned on so I guessed it was ok, but something was different about the water, it was sort of a different colour. After letting it run for a bit the water went back to normal, so I took off my towel and got in. It was too cold so I turned the handle to the hot side and just stood in the shower thinking.

It took me a little to notice that the water was thicker and a different colour again. Then it sunk in. The water wasn't water at all, it was thick… and it was red. It was blood! I quickly turned off the shower and jumped out screaming. I wrapped the towel around me and called the police and filed a missing person report. I gave them all the info they needed and hung up the phone in tears, then I went back to the bath and slowly turned on the water yet again. When it turned on the water seemed to be back to normal, so I finished my shower and got dressed.

What was happening? What was going on? After that incident I went to the kitchen and turned on the sink to see if blood ran out. As I turned the handle I could hear the water start to come up, but it sounded strange. When the water started to flow it wasn't water at all. It was a mixture of cockroaches and a bit of blood. I screamed and slammed off the faucet and jumped back.

Has the whole house gone mad? Am I going insane? By this time I had decided to call in sick for Dan and I. the people at the BBC radio weren't very happy with us, but if they knew what had happened they would understand.

I was really frightened and worried and I missed Dan. I just wanted him back. I went into his room and laid on his bed and covered with his blanket. I got all his stuffed animals and laid them all around the bed and snuggled with his favorite ones. I also got his shirt that he was wearing the day before and hugged it in bed. It still had the smell of his body spray. I lay there in his bed, tired and falling asleep. The smell of his shirt, his bed, his pillow that still smelled of his hair, and his stuffed animals comforted me enough to fall asleep.

Everything was quiet when all of a sudden a huge explosion goes off back in the lounge. I jump out of bed and peek around the wall, looking in at the explosion. Blood, guts and body parts were everywhere, then silence and a distant evil murmuring laugh. I see a ghostly pale little girl with a white short skirt and a white top that looked all scratched up. She had a scar on her face and she was crying, crying blood red tears with her pitch black eyes. She looked at me, as she stood in the middle of the bloody lounge with her hands behind her back. She held out her right arm and was grasping something by its hair. It was dripping blood and it was the shape of a head, and the hair was the same colour as Dan's. It was Dan's. "Oops." She whispered in a faint, crying voice and dropped Dan's head. She turned to her side and slowly walked away and vanished.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and fell to the floor in horror. Grabbing my face and clawing at the side of it, I scream even louder and even more in fear and pain.

"PHIL, Phil!" I hear in a voice that sounded like Dan's voice. Thinking it was all in my head I scram even louder.

"PHIL! PHIL! It's alright!" I hear in the same voice, and I feel two hands shaking me.

I open my eyes to see Dan standing over me. I was in my bed and my pillow was soaked.

"It's ok, it was just a bad dream, you're fine." Dan says to me as I sit up in bed.

"You've been screaming for like 3 minutes, Phil are you ok?" Dan asked with his hands on my shoulders. "It was just a horrible vivid dream, I'm glad it's over." I said to Dan hugging him tight and stuffing my face in between his neck and shoulder, crying.

"Are you sure you're ok now? I mean you were crying and screaming in your sleep for a little while." Dan asked me, concerned.

"Yes, I'm ok now. Thanks for waking me up, though, Dan."

"Well I couldn't just let you sleep, you seemed to be having a horrible nightmare. Anyway, wanna go get some breakfast and Starbucks?" Dan asked.

"Ooh yeah! Let me get dressed." I said, excitedly.

As we walked for breakfast and Starbucks he held my hand and I told him about my terrible dream. He hugged me and said "It's ok."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: If I Ever Lost You**

"Why would you do that, Phil!?" Dan shouted at me

"What did I do, Dan?" I asked concerned.

"You know what you did, Phil, don't pretend you don't know! How could anyone not know!" Dan shouted back.

I have no idea what Dan was talking about, I don't remember doing anything that would make him react this way, I would never ever want to make him this upset. I hated seeing him act this way. I was scared and I had no clue what was going on. I had no idea how to fix this and became frustrated with myself.

"Dan, please calm down and tell me what I did." I asked desperately.

"Oh come on, Phil, you know exactly what you did!" He said Putting on his shoes and giving me an angry look.

"Dan, what are you doing? I don't even know what I did! Please tell me so I can fix this!" I asked starting to cry.

"Do I really have to tell you? If you're too blind to see this, I don't think I need you!" Dan said putting his coat and hat on. "I can't believe he doesn't know. Pfft." He muttered to himself.

"Dan where are you going? Please don't leave! I need you, Dan!" I shouted, just about to burst out in tears.

I couldn't loose Dan, he was my best friend and I loved him way more than that. He can't leave, he couldn't. He was about to walk out the door and my heart was about to leave with him.

He was heading towards the door and, oh god what was I going to do? He was leaving and I was clueless. I had to do something, and act quickly. I loved him and I couldn't let him walk out that door.

"NO." I said running and putting my arms our to each side of the door, blocking it.

"Move, Phil" Dan said with a bit of disappointment in his sad and angry voice.

"NO." I said. " You are going to sit your ass down in the lounge and tell me what the hell is going on"

I hated being so mean and assertive towards Dan, but this was beginning to really annoy me. I loved him too much to let him walk out that door. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I was the oldest out of the both of us, and I was going to be the bigger person. If I had fight for Dan, I would, damn it.

"Phil, come on move." He said trying to nudge me away.

"I said no, now sit!" I said pointing to the lounge and nudging him, and keeping my hand on his back leading him to the sofa. He had no words to say so he just went into the lounge and sat down.

"Why are you doing this, Ph-" He began, but I cut him off.

"Now, you're going to tell me just what I did to make you so unhappy." I said looking him in the eye.

"Phil, I real-" He began but I cut him off again

"NO, you're going to sit here and tell me!" I shouted, angrily, standing up and crossing my arms.

"I specifically told you not to do this, but you did it anyway." He began standing up and looking at me a bit angry. "I told you I didn't want you to put that bit in your video, because I didn't want people to make a big fuss about it all, the touching, the long kiss, I didn't want our fans to see that! Now there's tweets, face book posts, and gifs of it all over the internet! Tweets calling me gay, face book posts telling people to un subscribe, and all that are all over the internet, Phil!" Dan said throwing his hat on the sofa and looking into my eyes, beginning to cry.

"Dan-" I began but he cut me off.

" I didn't want this to happen to either of us! I didn't want all the haters to have something else to spread around the world! You know a lot of people have big, huge problems with gays, or ever bisexual people! You know a lot of people don't and never will accept us, all they want to do is make our lives a living hell, and with that video all those people that are like that just added two others to their list. I Can't have that! And don't even think I'm only thinking of myself, because I know how things affect you and I know a lot about you that you didn't want me to know! I saw the blades in your dresser and all the bloody tissues, I don't need you feeling any worse than you already do, Phil. I love you, and with all the hate in this world, all these people committing suicide or just self-harming, I- I- I can't loose you! I can't have you hurting yourself anymore, and if you ever killed yourself, I don't know-" He said, cutting himself off with loads of tears running down his face. He looked me in the eyes and just broke down. He covered his face with his hands and fell to the floor on his knees, crying.

I immediately fall to the floor with tears running down my face and wrap my arms around him rubbing his back. After everything he had just said, I had no words.

He took in my embrace as soon as he felt me touch him and he wrapped his arms around my neck and cried into my shoulder. I lay my head on his and hug him even tighter, pulling him on my lap.

He's sat on my lap with his whole body facing mine and his legs wrapped around my upper waist, hugging me even tighter. I take away one hand to pet his hair, trying to calm him.

With him still tight up against and facing my body, I take his face in both my hands and kiss him. For a long while we stay there, connected by emotion, and the taste of Dan's sweet lips. He calms down enough to stop crying, and let the tears dry to his face. I pull away for a short second but Dan's face was still begging to be kissed, so I lean in and kiss him again.

My bum was starting to hurt from sitting on the floor for so long. I grab Dan and carefully I got up with his legs and arms still wrapped around me, and walked over to the sofa and sat down, carefully. His head was laid on my chest and his arms around my neck. He wasn't crying anymore but he was still sniffling like a child does after they cry.

I lay down on the sofa with Dan on top of me and I wrap one arm around him and with the other, I play with his hair. I could feel he was still crying, but not loud, because I felt my shirt begin to get wet where his eyes were. I didn't mind though.

With his arms still around my neck, he pulls his body us, to get his face closer to mine, and kisses me on the cheek and lays his head on my shoulder.

"Why didn't you let me leave earlier?" Dan asked so sweetly.

"I love you and if I let you leave, I would hate myself forever. True love is never found, but when it is, you have to fight for it, and never let it walk out that door." I said hugging his tightly.

He chuckled and pressed his face to my neck kissing it and wrapping his arms a bit tighter around me.

"I love you." Dan whispered in my ear.

"I love you, too." I said as I reached over and grabbed Lion and made him walk to Dan's face and kiss his nose. "Lion loves you." I added

"I love you , too, Lion." He said grabbing Lion and kissing him.

He then made Lion walk up on my cheek and said in a funny little voice, meaning it to be Lion, "Stop self-harming, ma and Dan love you way too much to let you do that, especially Dan"

"I will try my hardest, I promise, but this life is a crewel place, Lion, I'm just glad you and Dan are here to live it with me" I said to Lion. To surprise Dan, I, very quickly, grabbed him with one arm, sat up and with the other, I tickled him and kissed his forehead repeatedly, scaring him and making him laugh. He embraced Lion very closely so he wouldn't drop him and smashed his face into my chest.

On the sofa, embraced with each other, is where we feel asleep and stayed for the night. Dan snored a little, but it was incredible adorable and his mouth was open, indicating he was getting a cold, and he was drooling on me. It may sound strange, but that was adorable too. He tucked his arms under his body and put his hands into a fist and placed them under his chin, he was getting cold. I slowly sit up a bit with him still on me and grab the blanket that was just out of my reach and drape it over us.

I pet his hair and kissed his hair "Good night my sleepy angel, I love you so much, and am blessed to have you in my life" I said out loud to Dan as he slept.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up to something unusual. Dan wasn't in the kitchen eating breakfast. I thought to myself that maybe he was sleeping in. I walked down the hall way to his bedroom and knocked on the door. No answer. I open the door a bit to see if he was still sleeping but he wasn't. To my surprise Dan wasn't even in his room.

I got worried and went into the kitchen. On the table there was a piece of lined paper.

I picked it up to find it was a note Dan had left me. In my head I read:

You're feeling sad, you're feeling blue

It's sad I know, but this isn't you

You are better than this

And you will make it through

You're so much more, unclench that fist

What are you doing with that blade to your wrist?

Put it down, you're better than this

This isn't the you that I kissed

You're amazing because you are you

So why do you do the things that you do?

Darling, you are better than this

Take it from me because I know it's true

You may feel sad and alone now

But it gets better, and you'll see how

Because you are better than this

And so much more than the world will allow

I Love You

- Dan

He was so cute. Sometimes he would leave me these adorable little notes, but this was the first poem. This made me feel so much better.

When Dan said he knew I self-harmed, I was completely shocked. I never knew he knew that. I never thought he would even care.

A few minutes later I hear our flat door open. I rush to the door to see Dan carrying a bag.

"Where did you go?" I asked with a smile

"To the pharmacy to get cold medicine." He said reaching into his bag "Here I saw this in the store and thought you might like it" He pulled out a Kinder Egg and tossed it at me.

"Ooh yay!" I exclaimed as I caught it. "I loved the poem, Dan, it was really sweet." I said smiling and trying to open the Kinder Egg.

"I'm glad you did I wrote that last night." He said putting his bag on the table. "But I did mean every single word I said, and I hope you know that. I love you, Phil." He said so sweetly and giving me a hug.

"Dan how did you find out about my self harming?" I said, still hugging him.

"Well when you were away, I was looking for something. I thought you borrowed it so I went in your room to look for it. When I opened the drawer, I saw your bloody blades. Then I noticed the bloody tissues in your bin. After that, I noticed you had cuts on your shoulder, hips, and ankles. And when you put that bit in the video, I didn't want you to because I didn't want you doing anything worse because of what others had to say." He said hugging me tighter.

"Why do you care so much? I mean it's just little cuts."

"It is just little cuts, Phil, but it's the reasons for those cuts. And sometimes the cuts aren't really that little. I know how it is ,Phil, I used to self-harm too. I know how you feel when the blade touches your skin. You're hurting yourself because you don't feel good enough, because you feel that bad you want to feel pain. You feel like the whole world is against you and nothing could get better. You do it as a form of punishment for everything you think you're doing wrong. You feel stuck and don't know to release your feelings." Dan said starting to cry and laying his head on my shoulder.

"Dan I had no idea, I'm so sorry."

"Phil, I need you to stop self-harming. I know It'll be hard, but I need you to. I know how it is to feel like that. Cut after cut after cut, every cut gets closer and closer to suicide. If that ever happened to you, I don't know where I'd be. You were the reason I stopped. You helped in my long recovery. The way you accepted me and loved me right back exactly the way I was. Phil, you saved my life, and it hurts like hell knowing you're doing this to yourself. I need you to stop, Phil, and I will do all I can to keep you happy, I promise." Dan said crying into my jumper and hugging me even tighter.

"I love you Dan, from the end of space and back." I said taking his hand and leading him into the lounge to sit on the sofa. "you're my everything, sunshine, and I will try my very hardest just for you." I said to Dan as we sat on the sofa.

Dan's face was soaked in tears and he was sniffling. His beautiful brown eyes were staring into mine. He drove me absolutely nuts with his cuteness and adorable actions. He looked so upset I felt bad. I pat my lap gesturing for him to come and sit on my lap. I just wanted to snuggle him and kiss him and love him and let him know everything will be fine eventually. I needed Dan, I needed his presence, his love, to see his beautiful face everyday, I needed him. Dan was like a drug. Everything about him could get you hooked instantly.

As he scooted over to my lap, he started to cry again.

"What's the matter, why are you crying again?" I asked hugging him

"I just cant loose you, Phil, every time I think of life without you, I see darkness and depression. I cant loose you, I just fucking cant!" He said raising his voice.

"You will never loose me, Dan, I'm here to stay, forever, until my very last breath." I said as he laid his head on my chest.

I slowly pet his hair as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I could feel his chest moving as he slowly breathed in and out. He made me feel warm inside, he made my heart do that flippy over thing. I loved him more than anything else in the world and would give anything to see him smile. He was my special guy, he was my guardian angel.


	7. Chapter 7

It was Christmas Morning and there was snow on the ground. It was 9:03 in the morning and I was in my bed sleeping.

"Phil, Phil, wake up, I've got something for you!" Dan shouted and jumped on top of me, straddling me like a horse. "C'mon get up sleepy head!" He added as I opened my eyes.

When I woke up to see Dan on top of me I smiled and chuckled. I sat up with him still on top of me and wrap my arms around him. I hug him tight for a little while before moving my head to kiss him. Our lips touch and I feel his hands immediately run up my shirtless body and into my hair. Our tongues dance together creating an inseparable bond.

"Merry Christmas, Dan! I've got something for you too." I said winking at him.

I pull Dan's shirtless body back onto mine and cover us with the blanket. We lay there cuddled, sewn together by love. The feeling of Dan's body on top of mine was a feeling I never wanted to end. His head rested on my chest, the feel of his body moving from his breathing, everything about this felt so right.

"I love you, Dan." I say petting his hair.

"I love you too, Phil." He says hugging me tighter.

I roll over on top of Dan and kiss his lips over and over as I feel his chest. I slowly kiss him down to his neck, making sure I hit his 'special' spot. He moans a bit in pleasure. As I kiss his neck I slowly move my hand down and feel around the edge of his pants. Kiss by kiss I go down, kissing his body all over, until I get to his hips. I slide my hands in his pants and I can feel his slight erection. He moans a bit louder as I jerk him off into a hard-on. He grabs the bed sheets as I take him into my mouth. He moans more and more the faster I go.

"Oh Phil" He moans in pleasure.

Dan and I have never done this before, this was our first time, my first time. I loved Dan, and this might sound a bit weird but this too felt so right, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. Me, Dan, alone in our flat, Christmas, everything seemed so perfect, just like Dan.

"Phil… Phil… I'm gonna…" He said as his voice trailed off, followed by a load in my mouth.

I sit up licking my fingers.

"Here, taste yourself." I say crawling up to him and kissing him, giving him tongue.

I pull him back on top of me as we kiss and I wrap my arms around him tight.

"I love you so much, Phil." Dan says to me.

"I love you so much more, Dan, so much more." I say in reply. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Phil." He says snuggling his face into my neck.

I get up and put the blanket over Dan as he watches me. I pick him up with the blanket around him, because I didn't want him to get cold in our lounge, and carry him to the sofa. I sit down with him still wrapped up in my arms. He moves my blanket over us so we're under the covers and sits on my lap facing me. Cupping my head he kisses me long and passionately.

"I don't even want Christmas presents, I just want you." Dan says to me as he hugs me.

"Well I've got you one." I say as I begin to get up and get it.

"No, don't move." Dan says making me stay on the sofa with him.

He was so cute.

Neither of us move for a good 10 minutes. He stayed snuggled up to me and whispered cute thing in my ear like: "You're my Lion" "I love you more than food" "You're the best thing that ever happened to me" "Merry Christmas, baby, I love you sooo much".

He would randomly surprise kiss me on random parts of my head and it was the cutest thing ever. I saw him go to kiss my cheek and I turned my head really quick to make him kiss me on the lips.

"What are you 12? If you wanna kiss me on the lips just do grab me and do it." He said with a smile on his face. So that's what I did, I grabbed him and kissed him on the lips.

"I'm hungry, do you want toast, Phil?" Dan asked getting up with the blanket still around him.

"Sure, gorgeous." I said smiling at him.

As Dan went into the kitchen to make the toast I got up and got his Christmas presents from where I was hiding them. I had gotten him 2 things and I was sure he would love them.

"Hey Dan, can you come in here." I shouted to him in the kitchen.

"What's the matter?" He says coming into the lounge.

"I told you I got you Christmas presents, and I want you to open them before we go to our families." I say taking his hands and sitting him on the sofa. I give him the first one, which was wrapped in Super Mario paper.

"This is amazing, Phil, I love it!" He says as he held up a t-shirt with a llama one it.

"Here open the next one." I said handing him a small rectangular box.

"This ones is special" I said as he unwrapped a small rectangular red velvet jewelry box.

He looked up at me. "Open it" I said.

As he opened it his eyes immediately got wider.

"This is incredible, Phil, you didn't have to do this." He said taking out a silver necklace with the heart pendant that said "My heart did that flippy over thing"

"But I did." I said as I put the necklace on Dan.

He immediately turned around and kissed me after I put the necklace on him.

"I can't believe you did this, Phil, I love it! Thank you so much! I'm never taking it off, ever!" He said hugging me.

I just sat there hugging him. I wanted nothing more than his embrace on Christmas anyways.

"I've got something for you too." He said smiling and getting a box from where he hid it. "Here open it." He said handing me the box. I opened it to find a jelly bracelet with a bunch of different things on it. It had toast, Mario, a lion face, the word rawr and a heart. Under it was a card that read:

Dear Phil,

You are the best thing that ever happened to me and there is no way I could ever thank you enough for that. For the first 18 years of my life I didn't have a best friend, but then I met you. You changed everything and made it better. You healed all my wounds and there is no way I could ever repay you for that. I wanted nothing more than to wake up and know that someone was there, and that some one cared. You were that person, you changed my life.

I Love You

~love, Dan

"Dan that is beautiful, I love it!" I said hugging Dan as tight as I could. "And there is one thing you could do to thank and repay me"

"And what is that?" He asked.

I held his hands and looked him straight in his beautiful chocolate eyes.

"Daniel James Howell, will you be my boyfriend?" I asked nervously

"Oh Phil, of course!" He said climbing in my lap and kissing me. "I love you"

"I love you too, Dan, I love you too."


End file.
